How to ask and share your pronouns

No matter how we identify, we all deserve to feel affirmed and respected for who we are.

Personal pronouns are the words we use instead of someone’s name, such as she/her, he/him or they/them. Using the correct personal pronouns when speaking to, or about someone, is a simple way to ensure that people feel safe, seen and valued.

Why do pronouns matter?

Pronouns are more than just words; they’re about identity, care and belonging.

Affirmation

Using the correct pronouns for another person shows that you see them for who they truly are.

Safety

When we know our correct pronouns are respected, we feel safer to show up as our full selves.

Inclusion

A simple word choice can help someone feel included and that they belong; in the classroom, workplace or friend group.

Wellbeing

Research has shown that when trans+ people have their pronouns used correctly, it reduces stress, anxiety and depression.

Sharing your own pronouns

When we share our own pronouns, we normalise it and make it easier for others to also share theirs. Here are a few ways to make sharing pronouns feel inclusive for everyone.

• Introductions: “Hey, I’m Alex, and my pronouns are she/her.”
• Online: Add your pronouns to your email signature, social media or online profiles.
• Groups: If someone’s new to a group, offer to share your names and pronouns before they’re asked to share theirs. “Shall we go around and share our names and pronouns?”

How to ask for someone’s pronouns

If you’re unsure of someone’s pronouns, it doesn’t need to be overcomplicated. Keep things kind and natural.

• Share your pronouns first: “Hey, my name’s Jordan, I use they/them pronouns, how about you?”
• Ask gently and keep it moving: “Can I ask what pronouns you use? Mine are she/her”
• In group settings, keep it casual: “Let’s go around and share our names and pronouns”.

What to do if you get someone’s pronouns wrong

Don’t worry, it happens to everyone. What matters most is how you respond.

If you’re aware of your mistake

Correct yourself, then apologise “She, sorry, they are coming to the cinema with us.”

If you’re corrected by someone else

Say thank you, correct yourself, apologise, then continue.

Keep it simple

Long apologies can overcomplicate the situation and make things uncomfortable.

Move forward with respect

What matters most is that we respect each other. No one is perfect, but it matters that we try and learn from our mistakes.

If you realise later

Acknowledge your mistake, apologise and start fresh… “Hey, I used the wrong pronoun earlier, I’m sorry, I’ll do better.”

How to correct someone if they get your pronouns wrong

When someone gets our pronouns wrong, it can sometimes feel tricky to correct them, but we all have the right to be respected as who we are. Correcting someone also helps them learn and to stop any further mistakes from happening.

Quick and simple

• “I actually use she/her pronouns”
• “Just so you know, my pronouns are he/him.”

Advocating for someone else

“Just to let you know, Jordan’s pronouns are they/them”. Then continue with the conversation.

Correcting at a later time

If it feels safer or easier to correct someone later, say “Hey, earlier you used the wrong pronoun for me. Just to let you know that I use he/him pronouns.”

Things to remember

Asking, sharing, and respecting pronouns is a simple way to show care and respect. It can say:

• I see you
• I respect you
• I support you
• You belong here

Although it may seem like a small act, for trans+ people it can have a big impact on wellbeing, mental health, and sense of belonging.

Support for others matters too. If you hear someone being misgendered, gently stepping in with a kind and respectful correction can make a real difference.

Each correction helps create a more inclusive and affirming space for everyone.